December 1, 2013

First of all, the elephant in my mind.  5 years ago today we buried Manuel.  The Second hardest day of my life.  I wonder what our lives would be like if he were still with us.  We have moved on, lived, done what each of us thinks we should do.  But how different would things be?

It has been a tough week for all three of us.  Manuel hardly ever lets things show, and this week he did.  It was his birthday as well.  And we were not together for Thanksgiving.  He had a tough time.  But on  a good note, he reached out to me, wanting some comfort.  I hope I gave him enough.  My first thanksgiving without my children.  It was hard.  I missed them terribly.  We celebrated the weekend before, just the four of us.  And that was lovely!  Crazy how I need the day itself.  I am getting over that.  Take them when I can.  Plus the emotions, exhausting.

There were lots of positives and memories made as well.  I brought my mom, we had a nice time.  Susan, Jon and the girls came.  We went driving looking for Elk, chatted around a beautiful camp fire, saw old friends, Sherry and Candy, played some cards, cooked, cleaned, drank wine.  It was a wonderful long weekend.

Today, going to church, going for a long walk, laundry, balancing accounts, and maybe going to school to work.  What I really want to do is see my friend, but I am not sure that will happen. We will see.

Happy holidays!  I am going to start some new traditions for my little family!  Find what fits me and mine, making ours even more special.

3 more weeks till winter break!  Here I go:)