February 4, 2014

I woke up this morning to snow.  Waited a bit to get in the shower, and there it came!  The two hour delay phone call!  I love 2 hour delays.  They are unexpected, wonderful slow mornings.  Started some laundry, making a bacon/avocado omelet for breakfast, time to blog, lay in bed enjoying my coffee, listening to Matchbox 20(craig suggested that) and texting with Craig and Meg, and putting together a grocery list.   That's a lot for a slow morning, but it is all at my pace.  Slow and easy today.

Wow, February already.  January flew by.  Before I know it, school will be out, summer will be here. and who knows what will happen then.

I think I need to be making some plans for the summer, but things are happening.  I wanted to get a job bar tending or waitressing, but if I am still going to Eunice on the weekends or having company here, I don't want to work the weekends.  I would like to find another place to live.  So moving is definitely on my agenda!  Maybe a trip to Montana with Dora.  50th birthday party for JoAnne.  The Chancellor graduation/retirement party.

And continuing this new romance.  When I moved to Ruidoso, I decided I was going to open myself up to opportunities and create some as well.  So, I let Jo Ann set me up with a friend.  That was nice, fun, but not  what I wanted.  No spark.  Set up profiles on match.com and Eharmony.  Actually met someone.  We had a lot in common, had fun, but timing is everything.  He had personal stuff going on, I believe.  Anyway, that faded away.

At thanksgiving, one of Susan's friends was here visiting.  She has an older brother that I knew in high school.  I was asking about him, told her I thought I would give him a call, just catch up with him.
So I called, he agreed to meet me for drinks.  The next night he came with me to a Christmas party, and Sunday we had lunch before I came home.  There was a spark, we had fun, and I think he has texted me everyday since then.  January 1, I went back to Eunice to see him again.  Definitely some chemistry this time.

It is so weird.  I know right away if there is something there or if there is no point in continueing to see someone.  I realize that time makes a difference, but it seems like a waste of time if there is no spark to get the fire started.

Well the fire is started.  We have seen each other every weekend since then, except one.  He is not what I expected to be dating, but apparently what I needed.  We talk about any and everything, I go to work with him when I am in Eunice, we have common friends, friends I have not seen in years.  It is comfortable, easy, and very enjoyable.......See where it goes.  Just enjoying him and I think he is enjoying me.  Keena asked me this weekend, "What are you going to do with him?"  Not sure what she meant by that.  I told her we are having fun.  And that's all we need for now.

One more thing, one of the things I like most about this new "friendship" is that it is just about Craig and I.  Has nothing to do with the kids, the Sandovals, my past life.  It is just about me.  I feel very appreciated, safe, and I love all this attention he gives me.  I realize it is weird to mention the Sandovals, but they are an incredible family, and everyone wants to be around them, with lots of social events going on.  I love them dearly, but I need a life without them.  My own life.  I will always cherish them and the memories, but  this new life finally feels really good.  And here I am getting tears, guess it is finally time to let go.  But never, never forget.  Manuel is my soul mate, I will always love him. But I can love again.  And he would want me to.  I don't know if this is the time or the person, but now I know it is ok.  It's ok for me to take care of me, and do what I want and need.  It is my time now.
Wow, this turned into quite a self therapy session, tears and all.  


Well this was a blog all about me, wasn't it?   Next time, I won't be so selfish.